The book we read, by a local author
AS I read a story to my son during
his bedtime routine, I received a sharp albeit respectful rebuke. All I had
said was the street, “Riverbank Close.” It did happen to be “Riverbank Rise,”
so he simply said, “Riverbank Rise!” to which I said, “Yes, that’s what I said,”
not thinking. “No,” he said, “you said Riverbank Close!” “Yes,” I said, having given
it further thought, “you’re right, I did get it wrong.” There was no gloating
in him as he heard me say that, just the body language of thankfulness that he had
been heard.
I stood corrected. I granted him the
fact that he was right and promptly acknowledged it.
There have been times when, as a
father, I would have said, “Now, that’s enough of that, remember who is Dad
(i.e. the boss… and the boss is never wrong)!” Times when my pride has risen up
and demanded ‘respect’.
And how just would that have been
had that happened? How many times have we cut our children off simply because
they were right, yet we couldn’t accept their letting us know? How many times
has pride won the order of the day, only for the children to have to wear the
sting of injustice again? Sure, it’s happened to us all and, if we’re parents, we’ve
all probably executed those same injustices.
A parent engages in powerful
parenting when they overturn power structures in the execution of justice
against themselves to advance truth; to say we’re sorry when we ought to be; to
give the benefit of the doubt; to elevate truth above our ‘right’ to misuse our
power.
In the situation above, how could
it be fair other than to acknowledge he was right and I was wrong? It cost nothing
to be honest, and in being honest I was able to express my gratitude for having
been corrected.
Children learn justice best through
their experience of it in their own homes.
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