Saturday, April 27, 2013

Speaking Into Our Loneliness

There may be two forms of loneliness: one that appears regularly, even most days, yet it can be denied, and from this form of loneliness we pick up a crutch. The other loneliness is one that sweeps through our souls and, for a time, destroys us. Totally deconstructed the only chance we have is for a patient reconstruction effort.
Of course, both sorts of loneliness may merge, with stark remembrances of pain revisiting themselves upon us.
Could it be, though, that, in the midst of our loneliness, we might attempt words of consolation with ourselves, through prayer before God?
Talking When Talk Is Impossible
This is most likely our problem. How are we to talk in this sort of loneliness that is unspeakable? We cannot seem to get the right words, or even a word, that comes close to describing how we feel. These are the most discouraging of places.
When talk is impossible we can feel completely defenceless against the assault of our aloneness. All we can do is cry, and yet even that can seem pointless. From loneliness we lurch into exhaustion, into simply a different form of hopelessness. And from these two we tend to vacillate.
Our lonely circumstance is not about to change, but what can change us are the spoken utterances—even in syllables and gargling—that show us as expressive.
In these tongues of pain we communicate with God in an unconscious language, and this is therapeutic. Such prayers are just as important as our eloquent ones are. We may not decipher the language these prayers are given in, but God hears the language shrieked from our souls. And these efforts to appease God in identifying our souls with desperation are commended.
Healing is on its way.
Courage To Communicate With God
It’s a risk to have faith in this communication. In a more rational mindset we can see the benefit for such a risk, but in loneliness all we feel is abysmal desolation.
If our logic can inspire us to speak in pitiable words, and in strings of them that sound like gibberish, and we have the presence not to deride ourselves, we may be steadily blessed of God.
It takes courage to endure loneliness. When we feel worse than death and there’s nowhere to hide, a small but safe blessing comes about in the moment we take courage to communicate with God. Take note: God understands the undecipherable language of our souls. We speak and God listens. In this we’re helped.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

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