Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Privilege Of Listening

“It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.”
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-Oliver Wendell Holmes.
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What an underused quality is listening. People, by and large, like to speak and prefer not to listen so much for a wide variety of reasons, usually spurred by the fact they have something to offer in speaking, and not all of it gibberish.
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What this quote above means in essence is there is the role of speaker and the role of listener in any communication. The pre-qualifier is the person speaking has some knowledge to impart to the person listening. The listener is in a privileged position; he or she is getting some knowledge and they will become wiser (or exercise wisdom) in the listening.
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Listening is a privilege in that while we’re not speaking we cannot put our foot in our mouths. We’re protected so long as we’re attentive to what the other person is saying. And it takes a great deal of focus and effort to listen well; extra bonus points are gained for taking the time to ensure we’ve understood by paraphrasing with the speaker what they’ve said before we begin a responding.
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To mute the drive to say what we’re thinking and simply listen is an incredibly hard thing to do. It takes the uncomfortable exercise of consciously reminding ourselves regularly to do it. It’s acknowledging that what the other person has to offer may actually be relevant to us; it is a show of humility and not ignorance.
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How often do we:
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~~ Listen without thinking of the next thing we’re going to say?
~~ Interject without having truly ‘heard’ the other person?
~~ Paraphrase to demonstrate understanding and empathy?
~~ Check our facts before we open our mouths?
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Those who have knowledge should share it with others -- yet, so many act as if their knowledge were the only thing on the subject, or feel their own opinion should hold sway. This is demonstrated arrogance and foolishness.
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The privilege of listening finally is we save ourselves the embarrassment of being revealed wrong and ignorant. It’s a saving grace to listen. It brings peace and everyone who sees us listening can help respect us. Listening is so counter-cultural that with it we’ll stand out as excellent communicators even though we say less. People love to be ‘heard’ i.e. listened too properly. It is blessed to say less.
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Copyright © 2008, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

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