Saturday, May 10, 2008

“Bumped Onto Another Track In Life”

Imagine you are catapulted from one way of living to another in one single day. You have a cherished family, friends, fantastic work, car, home, possessions, your security, and everything you hold dear; the next thing all of that is a distant memory -- it is irrevocably changed. Life will never be the same again. There’s no going back. Though you try desperately for months, it doesn’t change a thing. You’ve perhaps taken it all for granted for too long -- and everyone does -- but now it’s too late.
s
That’s the scene for the marriage breakdown that I experienced. Overnight I was ‘bumped onto another track in life’ like you would shunt a train or slot car onto another line. Even though the original world existed -- and I could see it from afar, there was no way back to it. It was desperately painful and I’d not wish that agony on another soul.
s
Strange thing though, nearly five years on, the new track was my salvation! It was there I truly learned to live aright. It was there that I found love, and indeed ‘love came to town.’ It was through the loving embrace of my parents and a recovery group that I found my way through the grief to new life. New life and victory over self. I was saved and blessed and sanctified, and all it required was desperation and surrender on my part. The floodgates of grace opened up to me instantly. I was gifted immediately.
s
Why is it that life needs to throw us a curve ball to get our attention? I’d tried for years to do the things I could suddenly now do in the midst of torment and change; the living hell. Under intense pressure, and in the fiery furnace, I learned courage and faith. I learned to cope. I learned to lean on God. I learned to thank him for the simple things.
s
Five years on, I live a powerful life of joy, thankfulness, and hope -- love pervades me and resilience is the train I take on the journey I am now driven to take. It is a ‘beautiful track.’ I view people differently -- God loves them. Vulnerability is my dearest friend and learning is essential. I forgive. I laugh! -- at myself. I cry and find sweet therapy in the tears. My children are my dearest friends. Life is weird, but what I have experienced in my past four or five years I would not swap for anything. Is this not victory?
s
Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

2 comments:

Paul said...

I know exactly what you mean and have experienced a parallel - a way forward that I wouldn't have chosen, but it turned into something beautiful and had exactly that feel - of being on a path or track.

That was ended in 94 by the sudden onset at age 37 of an incurable progressive disease. As on track as you find yourself, you can be derailed literally overnight and in a completely unforeseen manner.

But it was a wonderful, creative period of my life before that; one that lasted fourteen years.

Hope you get to stay on track! Turns out there's a way forward either way, but given a choice, I sure would have stuck to the way of joy instead of pain.

Steve Wickham said...

Maturity is what it demands. Being bumped onto that different track demands a response. You've been bumped onto a track that left little option for life 'like it was.' I stand in admiration for the maturity it has demanded of you, and your response to meet it. I think of 2 Cor. 4 and Romans 8... one day these tents of ours will be no more; we'll groan no more.

(I've enjoyed reading your posts of late.)