Sunday, February 18, 2018

A gentle landing when life is harsh

[God] himself has said: I will never abandon you; under no circumstances will I leave you to cope on your own. (Hebrews 13:5 USC)
Have you ever noticed how easy it seems to give up on life; to make that key decision of action to stop going on? I felt it yesterday several times, even amongst friends and loved ones; that loneliness of soul that had lost all sense of hope in the seconds before it.
What a forlorn experience. What a chastening way. To be in life, doing your thing, trying your best, only to be berated by the still small voice of meaninglessness. That there is no impact being made. In those moments, all is split asunder. Nothing holds. All basis for life vanishes. Life is hard, and we don’t know why. We face it for what it is, and no wonder we’re found inept of conscience.
But then I noticed something happen to me; to my thinking. A kind of resurrection occurred. Being that it was my undertaking that those present were there for, I found myself, almost beyond my own will, be lifted by a separate will — the will of God; a power of reckoning.
Suddenly my legs operated with purpose, and my arms moved with passion. My mind was restarted, my eyes selective, my ears hearing a new thing.
God was reminding me of something crucial to life. Never are we truly alone, though we might feel alone. Never does the Lord of all life abandon us, though we may feel abandoned. These tenets, of course, we who are Christian accept by faith. God has rectified us. We are in a right relationship with him who gives life and grants light.
What difference does this make? All the difference in the world. If our world can fall apart in an instant, we too can be raised again in that same instant. Having created us, God is a gentle landing amid what we find is a harsh life. Believe this and prosper. Failing to believe this is unconscionable.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Seeing that this test is no pest

MODES of frustration in life are merely the defeat of our disposition. We choose our disposition. But first, there is something you must know about tests.
They can be managed very effectively by imagining it’s us with God against the world; where the world is destined to learn the hard way. It’s not that the rest of the world is evil or anything. The rest of the world just doesn’t understand us as God understands us.
That’s an important distinction.
When we know that God is for us, never against us, we know He is for us in a war for understanding, respect, appreciation and acceptance.
The test before us cannot be seen as a pest when we imagine that it as the world’s ultimate compliment; he or she needs to be tested and knocked off balance. Not being knocked off balance says something to the watching on world. It also compels us to enjoy an unconquerable reality.
Times when I’ve been rejected in life have been the pinnacle moments for me, especially when I’ve not deserved such treatment. It’s like, ‘God, they’re against us! How foolish… don’t they know who they’re dealing with?’ It may sound arrogant. It isn’t. It’s the voice of resilience. Many people are despondent when they’re rejected. Don’t be despondent, get even, by refusing to be contorted by it.
Having belief in ourselves with God is the essence of faith, and the worse things get the more we see victory is just around the corner; whatever corner God chooses.
Tests are not pests. They’re moments where we snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat. That victory is not something far off. That victory is in the moment we know nothing is against us when God is for us. That is no cliché. Such a reality finds its fulfilment when we can say, ‘Just you wait, and see.’

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Where is God when I need Him?


PRESENCE is such a pregnant concept. You meet a person who sees right down into you, but you’re not in any way threatened, but relieved, because they see you; they understand you without you even asking; they accept you for who you are. This person has presence.
God, too, has Presence — but it is completely different to the presence another human being has with us, or what we have with another human being.
It is understandable to confuse the two, but God is no human being. God’s present is personal but in so many ways profoundly universal, evident in the flow of life wherever we go and wherever we are.
God speaks powerfully through circumstances. God has the special penchant for doing things that are crazily connected. In ways that could only be God and His Presence in our lives.
Yet, just like a person of divine presence compels us to feel met, like we’ve had a divine encounter, God’s Presence too is the guarantor of faith. He makes it so we can no longer sustain disbelief. Simply put, He proves Himself! Beyond any doubt. In fact, we find we have now transcended doubt in this area of our lives.
But perhaps you want to believe God is, that He is present, that He cares, that He loves you, but you do not sense Him? Are you connecting the dots? Are you seeing Him at work in your life? Those dots are being connected. He is working in your life. He always is.
The problem we have with God is we need Him on the back of not having related with Him. But we can only relate with God through need; if we don’t need God we don’t relate with Him. We need to need God more than we need anything else. And only through extreme hardship are we granted access to such a path.

God’s felt Presence comes as a compensation for the hardship we experience. We may think we need Him, but do we really need Him as we should? Are we open to God, craving Him, in our pain.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Being jubilant about what doesn’t bring joy

HOSPITALS, I find, are not the kind of place I find God speaks fast and furiously. Normally God speaks profusely when I’m moving. But it was during a time of hospital visitation recently where He ushered five or six potent sayings and visions.
This is one of them.
God said to me, ‘It’s hard following Me.’ I got this as I was redirected from one part of a hospital to another. So many directions for someone who is often spatially incoherent. I somehow knew I’d get to where I was going; to the actual person I was visiting, but I felt it was some kind of Jason Bourne adventure, with time pressure and all.
But there is a deeper connection with the Word God gave: following God isn’t just about being patient with and open to direction. With this Word, I experienced a certain divine empathy. God meant to communicate that it is hard actually submitting every decision to Him. Hard as far as discernment on the one hand, and hard also regarding the obedience required.
Following God, if we’re honest, is rarely cause for jubilation. We are certainly jubilant for what Christ has done, and for the Father’s love for us. But in the grind of the daily Christian walk, it’s a trial sprinkled with temptation and the occasional experience of humiliation and odd nuance of despair.
Life is the long game, and spiritual passion can be expected to wane.
But more than that, following Jesus can be expected to be like that visit to an unknown facility like the hospital. Nothing is certain or straight forward. There are snares to be avoided. Jesus tells us to be shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. That’s no easy task, and impossible without the Holy Spirit.
When we serve recalling God’s saving us, we experience jubilation which makes the impossible challenge of following Jesus possible.
God expects far less perfection from us than we often expect from ourselves. Indeed, God expects imperfection from us. This fact ought to make us jubilant.
The less pressure we perceive from God, the more joy we experience following Jesus. The fact is, all the pressure we feel for following God has its root in us or others, not God.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

The heart searches for what it delights in

Photo by Johnny Brown on Unsplash

PRAYING for God to give us the desires of our hearts is redundant when we suppose that God already gives us what our hearts delight in.
If our hearts delight in evil, idolatry or wickedness, God will accede to our lifestyle, and we will reap the destiny we are seeking for and searching out. It won’t end well. Never does ultimately.
If our hearts delight in achievement and success, we will either attain it or God will allow us to be thwarted by frustration. Either way, achievement and success without God are thwarted in the end. Building without God is vanity (Psalm 127:1).
If we take delight in the hope of marriage, God doesn’t so much give us marriage, but an interest in it, sufficient that we are open to its possibilities. But too much delight in marriage takes us into idolatry.
If we take delight in God, our hearts agree, and we cannot stop searching God himself in all we do. And we see God searching us out in everything. We are taken on a journey of surrender and faith and learning as we lean in day by day. Such a delight doesn’t make our lives easier, but our lives have intrinsic meaning and are more purposeful. When we delight in God, we take delight in serving, and we find that in serving others we, ourselves, are set free.
Our hearts find what they search for. The heart searches and ultimately finds what it delights in. The only pure and rewarding delight is God. If you are miserable, ask your heart what it delights in.
The heart only finds peace in discoveries of truth and love and mercy and justice. And the like. Items of virtue, spiritual in nature. Yet if we allow our hearts to chase anything else our idolatry sees us bonded to a prison of our own making.
The heart delights in what it searches for, and the heart searches for what it delights in. Delight in what is worthy. Search for that which is fulfilling.

Friday, February 9, 2018

10,000 Reasons – it’s not about the list

SET a task, a daunting one at that, something is being forced into my character — to seek, to search out, to explore as the Spirit implores, to lay hands on, and to attain, gratitude.
One hundred reasons for one hundred days – 100 x 100 = 10,000
To find 10,000 Reasons can seem a worthless exercise consuming so much time — probably two or three hundred hours will be invested. Nearly two full weeks of effort over a three-and-a-half-month period. But it’s not about the list. Not really. The list is a means to an end.
Think of what God could be achieving in me as I accede to His request.
He wishes to do a work in me, and all I need to do is grant Him permission and access.
That’s discipleship. It’s the cudgel of effect the Lord wants to have in and through our lives. Christ’s urging through the Holy Spirit is always about the ends of Him who lives in us who love through Him. The method is unimportant, even irrelevant, so long as it is holy — set apart to Him. God is innately interested in me and in the ‘me’ in you.
It’s how God relates to us; about how we relate with ourselves.
The list is about this, as an end: a paradigm shift where all unholy thoughts are forced into eviction, where, more and more, God has His way. Where His mission seeks fulfilment through me.
Complaint cannot thrive whilst my mind burns to be grateful. I need gratitude because I complain. Anxiety falls flat when I’m too busy being thankful to fret. I need gratitude because I get anxious. Frustration hasn’t a chance when I see I’m getting behind my quota. I need gratitude because I get frustrated. Entitlement is an obvious folly when God keeps providing hundreds on top of hundreds of reasons to be appreciative. I need gratitude because I feel entitled at times.
The more responsibility I take for injecting joy into my life, the more freedom I enjoy. The less space I make for what is ungodly, the more God swells what is going in. The more grateful I can be, the more patience and humble I am.
It’s not about the list. It’s about what the list is doing in me as I compile it.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

What are you looking for?

Photo by Pawel Janiak on Unsplash

WHAT if God were asking, through our sense of sight, ‘What are you looking for?’
What can you see… taste… touch… hear… smell?
What is it you’re looking for?
Are you looking for reasons to be grateful, perchance?
Are you looking for Me in your everyday going out and coming home?
Can you see Me? Especially in the banal and mundane? Where is your focus?
Can you imagine Me as a God who is curious for you and about you? Have you any questions of Me, or about Me, to quietly ponder as you live for Me? Are you hearing for an answer?
Do you seek me in your suffering, or do you perceive me as far too aloof for that? Do you seek Me for the breakthrough you require? Are you disappointed if it’s not time yet?
Can you detect that I want you to know Me; that I seek you to understand you are known by Me in your innermost parts? I know how much it hurts.
I still want to know, what are you looking for? Do you know that what you look for you will surely find? Do you understand that if you look for Me you will find me? Do you realise if you look for anything but Me, that too you shall find? What do you want? What do you choose?
***
God, I am sure, is hoping we’re looking, that our eyes are open, that we’re able to receive revelation and fulfillments of His goodness. He wants us alive, reachable, hearts open for stimulation, creativity, innovation, good works and reconciliation.
God wants our Spirit/soul connection vibrant, pliable, emergent, thriving. He wants us speaking with Him, no doubt, but more so, He is after a listener in us; someone who is looking for Him in the everyday.
God’s invitation is that, with faith, we would see and hear with the eyes and ears of life.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Gratitude in the valley of Grief

Photo by Spencer Watson on Unsplash

IMPOSSIBLE concepts are not foreign in the Kingdom of God, but of course impossibilities in a worldly context are possibilities where God reigns.
Gratitude in the time of grief, for instance, is possible as a concept in the Kingdom of God, but the world generally thinks that’s absurd. Such a concept is both bizarre and yet, we know, really the only way forward. So, what seems impossible is also the only thing that makes new life possible.
How do we do this mysterious practice of gratitude amid grief?
By faith. Simply, we express gratitude when we would rather complain. We look for reasons to be thankful. We practice the thing that seems impossible, and in practicing it, we prove to ourselves it is possible.
Sure, there are times in an entire season of grief where we simply cannot be grateful. That’s to be expected. The point is we keep it within our mind’s eye sight, always endeavouring to return to it. We never hold it so far away that it feels ‘impossible’.
The nuts and bolts of gratitude are in the itty biddy things of life. If anything, grief transforms our perspective overnight. Grief makes it possible that we would begin to see the smaller things that we too regularly overlooked.
When we’re thankful for what we would normally take for granted, we’re helped in our grief. Many things are impossible in grief, and gratitude appears to be one of them. But as soon as we engage ourselves in it, God teaches us it’s not only possible, but He teaches us that gratitude helps give our lives perspective, and now when we need it most.
Perhaps we can think of grief as the ideal time to engage intentionally in gratitude. Our world is turned upside down. No typical thinking system will make sense. But gratitude will. By faith. Believe it can help, and keep believing, and it will help. Sooner or later we’re convinced.
Gratitude helps us cut a way through a mountain that feels impossible to climb.

We are not grateful for the loss we have suffered, but we may choose gratitude to make coping easier.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Entering the Cauldron of the Overcoming Life

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

THIS article is about defeat, not victory, because we need strategies for defeat if we’re to properly envision victory and experience it. A solid offence feels good, but it falls flat if we can’t play defense.
Now, this is the thing: Life will most certainly defeat us if we let it. Bad days and confounding moments come when we have no answer. This, we all know too well, is the nature of life.
Here’s another thing to bear in mind. Even more so do the tests of life come when we’ve promised God we’re with Him, committed to the overcoming life He won for us at the cross.
What shape does defeat come in? In obtuse designs of frustration and complaint and exhaustion and bitterness, among others, where we’re overcome.
Victory comes straddled between the twin peaks of passion and recollection; times when we run forward in advance, and other times when we’re honestly depleted and need to take stock. The latter can seem to take the form of defeat, but we don’t consider recovery as defeat at all. It is merely the necessary action in a chain of events to make our overcoming life sustainable.
Life will most certainly defeat us if we let it. Of course, we cannot let it. We must get up each day with the mind’s fresh resolve — to discern God’s will and pray for the power to carry it out — that’s all.
The business of God’s people is to make possible what the world thinks is impossible. These are the matters of our attitude to all sorts of scenarios thrust at us. Only by faith can we be observed to overcome when the pressure seems overwhelming. We even overcome by being overcome if we don’t give up.
And only by experience of defeat do we learn how to achieve victory. There is no shame in falling short. In fact, Christians, of all people, should accept this (Romans 3:23). We all fall short. When we bear no shame in falling short, we are quicker getting up from the canvas. We do get up from the canvas. We need to resolve this with our will in having the humility to rise again.
Following Christ is all about the long game. We endure defeat knowing Jesus has achieved the victory, having faith He will show us the way. That way is of learning, and that learning is about character growth in virtue. It is less about effort, more about surrender, letting go of idols, consenting to God.
In essence, it’s the prayer, ‘God, have your way in my life in every way.’ The long game is about getting there. It takes time.
Surrender to the world and go about feeling defeated or surrender to God and experience victory even through defeat.
The Christian life is an overcoming life, but it is never easy. Indeed, it is a cauldron where we must count the cost.
The moment we say we will pay the price our faith requires, we are both ready to serve Christ and about to be significantly tested.
Welcome to the Cauldron!
The enemy loves a challenge.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Seek the path, Know the path, Walk the path

Notice anything unusual in this image?
BEING a disciple is as simple, and as complicated, as seeking the path, knowing the path, then walking the path. Simple, but complicated.
Once we’re trained in this practice we see its elegant simplicity, but we may need to traverse hell to get there. Often God needs to break us to rebuild us in a way that we would seek Him.
Seek the Path
This is what all disciples are to do, and it’s highly preferable if we have an innate craving for God — for the search. This is where problems with mental health and loneliness and the like are good news — conditions of dissatisfaction ought to compel us to search! It is no good feeling or being defeated all the time. All disciples should feel convicted of heart to search God and search their way through their day. If we’re in a dry time, it’s understandable we should want that craving for God to return.
Know the Path
There is always a right path to tread. Indeed there are usually several right paths we could take. Whatever path we discern that God is giving is the one to take. And the discerning is instinctual — to keep moving forward. It’s okay to make the wrong move, just keep moving and get back on track. Stay calm of attitude, remain grateful for God’s guiding voice. Keep the faith in blindness, because by blindness the boldest steps of faith are made.
Walk the Path
Once we know the path — the instinct for the very moment forward — that instinct then continues to propel us into action. We move without thought. No thought, just Spirit. Thought comes earlier.
Once we know the path to walk, we walk it without hesitation. It’s what disciples of Jesus are to do.
***
All in one swift movement, the faith life compels us to search and to seek, to know as in a spiritual knowledge that the soul knows, transcending the mind, and to walk it out in faith.
Three steps to authentic Christian faith: seek the right path, know the right path, walk the right path.

The image shown above was taken the day I wrote the article. It was the first packet of screws I picked up. It was full of pan-head screws with one odd countersunk screw. The relevance is this. I expected to find a packet like this, but only after I found it did I understand what I had anticipated. I don’t know why. It just is. It demonstrates a spiritual process is underway in me.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

The sanctity in a different view

CONFLICT has always been there and always will be. So, how are we supposed to coexist in harmony where there is such inherent difference between us?
In an age where there is both not enough and too much tolerance, it is clear we live in a polarised world. It is on the one hand celebrated when we express ground-breaking thoughts and frowned upon on the other. The emergence of the change-the-date campaign is just one example. Same-sex marriage was another. Issues draw out such impassioned debate, and the worst of it is seen on social media. Very quickly we lose sight of who we are dealing with — fellow sacred human beings.
When we are honest we will acknowledge biases in us, each with good rationality that works for us. And yet, such views sharply diverge from others’ views. We can feel part of a united front one moment, and completely alone the next.
Could it be that God is trying to say something in all this through our experience?
Could it be possible that God is saying we are meant to exist here — our time on this planet — to lift others up, and in this case, to affirm others’ personhood even if we do disagree with them?
God does give us the capacity to hold other human beings’ value highly — so highly, as those made in God’s own image, no matter who they are — that their differing views (no matter how abhorrent they might appear to us) are considered to be as sacred as our own. They simply have different biases than we do.
One thing more important than our view is the fact there are always differing views. This is more important for the simple fact that community always trumps individual. This is because individuals only truly prosper when the community prospers.
Community finds itself expressed in the idea that a divergence of views can be held within the collective; that all views matter; where respect for any other person’s view is unequivocal.
Maturity is known in the concept that there is sanctity in views that differ from ours.
Community has hope when people extend love to others without condition.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Where is God when life gives us more than we can handle

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
THERE is this old cliché that does the rounds: God will not give you more than you can handle. Platitudes such as these have done harm.
I have found in my experience of life that it has broken me at times. Yet, paradoxically, the very process of being broken has made meaning of the suffering, as it opened the door to something God was doing.
The first time I was broken by grief I was so smashed up on the rocks of life I thought of ending it. But in the process of being blindsided and overwhelmed I did the only thing I could do — I called out to God, please God, help me!
Not only did God help me, He made Himself known to me, in a real, relatable, tangible way.
The fact is we suffer in this life if we’re honest. John Chrysostom (347 – 407) says, “we have sustained a life more grievous than countless deaths; fearing and trembling through so many days, and being suspicious of our very shadows… in our sleep, [waking] up, through constant agony of mind.” His point is God knows what we suffer and His Presence in our lives, and His salvation, is our mercy.
This life pushes us over the brink. And it’s as we fall into that dark chasm that God rescues us, when we’re honest before Him; as we confess our fear, and what it is that makes us feel we cannot cope.
God does not typically provide a magical ‘way out’, but the rescue He provides works over the days and weeks that ensue. We find that, though we lament our suffering, God gives us a way to endure it.
We find that God gives us the resolve and capacity to search. We crave meaning, a purpose for what we suffer. And God delivers on what is promised: if we knock at the door of inquiry, that door will be opened to us; not of perfectly satisfactory answers, but of peace to accept what we cannot change, which is supremely better amid this mysterious life.
In our suffering, God provides more than a magical rescue. He enables us to endure, creates meaning, and teaches us the peace of patient acceptance.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

10,000 Reasons – 100 per day for 100 days

“You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger, Your name is great, and Your heart is kind; for all Your goodness, I will keep on singing; 10,000 reasons for my heart to find.”
MATT Redman’s song is an anthem for so many. God ushered something into my ungrateful spirit recently — ‘do 10,000 reasons!’
I knew immediately what He meant, and I did not like it.
What, I am being tasked with 10,000 actual reasons for my heart to find; why I love you; why I’m grateful?
I’ve done 100 Reasons to be Happy twice. It really only took about ninety minutes each time to count those blessings. But is God asking me to do that over one hundred consecutive days?
Is it a punishment? No. It’s about Him giving me an assignment as I reinstall a gratitude habit.
The truth is the busyness of life is wearing me down. It’s only three weeks into a new year and I’m wearing out already being there for everyone else but myself — it’s not the full truth but that’s what it feels like. I feel like I’ve been under sustained spiritual attack for over a month. My life is far busier than I wish it were, and a big part of that is the season we’re in, and it’s not bad. I’m not achieving my personal health and exercise goals because I’m dining out on comfort in an uncomfortable season. Feeling devoid of hope has become normal. My light shines dimly. But none of this is anyone else’s fault but my own. Two things make life easier when it’s hard: 1. work hard and 2. take responsibility.
I’m taking God up on His challenge, even though I resent it at present, and feel it will only load me up even more. But I do have faith He will show me something over the next one hundred days as I wrestle with my frustration and exhaustion and gradually replace them with perspective and thankfulness through the simple practice of gratitude.

So, 10,000 reasons for my heart to find… why? Because I’m not living a Christlike life at the moment.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

It’s not about now, it’s never been about now

Photo by Daria Tumanova on Unsplash

WONDERING with the psalmist, we add our how longs, and God issues the answer: “It’s not about now, it’s never been about now.”
Still, we struggle with how we’re to reconcile what is from what has been. Certain injustices, particular untruths propagated, and people seem not only to get away with it, but to prosper. Even as they have harmed us or those we care about or love.
No, they don’t.
“They won’t, and they don’t” says God.
All must pay. All matters will be reconciled. We’re empowered to make for reconciliation in this life. If we don’t, a great disempowerment is underway. The living and the breathing is for the purpose of loving. And yet we all fall far short. Thank God for the flower of repentance; the fruit of which preserves us eternally pure. The grace of humility is a light that shines eternally.
Matters left unresolved when we want them resolved. People not brought to justice and they appear to go from strength to strength.
No, they don’t.
“They won’t, and they don’t” says God.
It’s not about now, it’s never been about now. Now is but a test. Now is the place where people get the choice how they want to live, under heaven’s full view, where nothing is hidden and there are no secrets. Christians acting unchristianly. Not long now. All will be exposed in accord with the Judge’s perfect judgment.
We may require justice within a short period of time. God works in the decades. What we wished would happen next decade has become irrelevant. Then we find He has moved. It’s not about now, it’s never been about now.
The fullness of time is in the order of ten, thirty, fifty years, not today, nor tomorrow or next month.
We get stuck in the miry past, when God’s working in a brighter future. To embrace what’s coming we must let go of what’s been.
When we surrender our demands, and accept God’s eternal plan, God’s eternal purpose becomes our daily sustenance. We’re happy with this life’s injustice because eternal justice awaits.
We may watch things not change, and we may get frustrated and remain confused, or we may place our trust in Him, again, for the long term, because with that trust there is peace. And vindication is certainly coming for the penitent of heart.
For God to do His bit we must do ours.

The more we trust God’s eternal purpose, the less we worry about vindication of earthly justice.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Our depression, our grief, God’s grief

PANIC sets in when we first recognise the signs of depression. There’s a hasty revision and reassessment of plans, then we may be relieved; we finally know what’s wrong. But ultimately none of us are relieved we have depression.
If we think of mental illness as our psychological needs not being met, it is appropriate to be depressed or to suffer depression. There will be times — moments, hours, weeks, entire seasons of life for many — where we will be estranged from our psychological needs. There’s nothing more common in life than to feel our needs aren’t being met.
Depression is no weakness to be ashamed of. Though we feel exposed and vulnerable, indeed to the point at times of exposing ourselves and being vulnerable, we ought not to be ashamed. Depression and being depressed is normal. Even having a depressive disorder is relatively common.
Our depression is a story of our grief; that we cannot control an unpredictable world, full of situations that make us vulnerable. Yes, depression is grief, for grief has discovered a challenge too difficult to accept, which is what depression is when we’re overwhelmed. Simply put, our psychological needs are not being met.
Depression is not only about our grief — feeling out of control in an out of control world — it is also God’s grief. God grieves eternally because He created us to have our needs met. He never created us to live empty, lonely, hurt, vulnerable lives. It grieves God when we live life without meaning, hope or purpose.
The closest we have to the concept of how God feels when our needs aren’t met is parenting. Parents all over the world understand exactly how God must feel — well, as exactly as a human being can imagine how God must feel.
Our depression is about our grief, having lost access to the meeting of our psychological needs, and for that, God grieves eternally.